It mightn’t have escaped your attention

If it has then it frankly ain’t right

Either way it behoves me to mention

A footie game happening tonight.

There’s simply no rivalry longer

In the history & span of the sport

That rivalry’s never been stronger

Since brave Willie Wallace got caught.

Half a lifetime, it’s twenty-five years

Since these auld foes last had a clash

For one side, it must end in tears

Over beer, or some haggis n mash.

The last time they played, Sporty Spice

And her bandmates were up there, the tops

Oasis bashed Blur (never nice)

Well look at them now: moms n pops.

The ‘Auld Enemy’, it can get tribal

With face paint, aggressive songs too

And true Scots are often quite liable

To crack open cans of Irn Bru.

I hope that the atmosphere’s friendly,

And everyone has a good time

I’m watching with my good pal Wendy

(not true, but it’s tricky to rhyme).  

So charge up your glass, hold your breath

Steel your nerves and hold onto your hat

As Bill Shankly said: “Life n death?

Nah, it’s far more important than that.”