It mightn’t have escaped your attention
If it has then it frankly ain’t right
Either way it behoves me to mention
A footie game happening tonight.
There’s simply no rivalry longer
In the history & span of the sport
That rivalry’s never been stronger
Since brave Willie Wallace got caught.
Half a lifetime, it’s twenty-five years
Since these auld foes last had a clash
For one side, it must end in tears
Over beer, or some haggis n mash.
The last time they played, Sporty Spice
And her bandmates were up there, the tops
Oasis bashed Blur (never nice)
Well look at them now: moms n pops.
The ‘Auld Enemy’, it can get tribal
With face paint, aggressive songs too
And true Scots are often quite liable
To crack open cans of Irn Bru.
I hope that the atmosphere’s friendly,
And everyone has a good time
I’m watching with my good pal Wendy
(not true, but it’s tricky to rhyme).
So charge up your glass, hold your breath
Steel your nerves and hold onto your hat
As Bill Shankly said: “Life n death?
Nah, it’s far more important than that.”